Merternal Ramblings
by Politics.and.Prose
Summary: Inside Mercedes' head regarding her relationship Sam. - I guess this is kind of a series or whatever.


She doesn't plan for it. She's not the kind of girl these things happen to. She's never had a _real_ boyfriend before. (Kurt certainly doesn't count because a- he didn't know and 2- he's gay. And Puck was a complete jerk using her for her popularity and she frankly didn't see what girls saw in him.)

She doesn't even know how it happens. She supposes she has Rachel to thank (and she doesn't hate it as much as she thinks she would have if it was last year). If Rachel hadn't asked Sam to prom and got turned down and then asked her and then they asked Sam together, she wouldn't have Sam.

And she likes having Sam.

He's sweet and cute and she has no idea how it happens. She doesn't expect him to ask her out again after prom. She expects make he might like Rachel but then he asks her to dance – he's the _only_ one who asks her to dance – and he tells her she's beautiful and it's thrilling and amazing and _different_ and she can't stop herself from smiling and thinking she might have a new friend.

She can't believe how quickly he becomes more.

They haven't kissed yet but that's okay. She doesn't need him to kiss her. Sure, she'd like it and she _wants_ it – she feels pathetic being nearly seventeen and kissless. She feels bad for thinking that even _Kurt's_ been kissed and he's _gay_ but then she realizes Kurt kissed Brittany too and even if it doesn't _really_ count it does and she's been alone in the kissless category longer than she cares to admit.

But then there's Sam and his silly impressions and his blonde hair and his wide smile and his … _Samness_.

She doesn't bother trying to stop herself from liking him.

And she's pretty down with it when he asks if they can keep it quiet. She knows it's not because he's embarrassed to be seen with her. She knows she's hot chocolate and damn if any Hostess snack like him was going to shy away from being with her in public without a damn good reason.

But he does have a good reason. He's more embarrassed about what he can't give her than being seen with her and she thinks he's stupid but she doesn't tell him that. Not in so many words, at least.

"You're crazy. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," he smiles. "But you like me anyway."

She doesn't agree out loud but she knows she doesn't have to. They're comfortable with what they have.

Also, she doesn't want him to think he has to do nice things for her – being her boyfriend is kinda one of the nicest things anyone's ever done for her – and she tells him so but he insists that he get a job so he can have some spending money.

(She knows he gives as much as he can to his parents and just every once in a while he takes her out for coffee. She likes him even more for that.)

She gets more nervous about being with him as the summer goes on. They go out of town to the Fair and do all they can to avoid seeing the Finn/Rachel/Kurt/Blaine double date because _hello_, Kurt's a huge gossip and they're still keeping it quiet.

She knows Finn sees her and she gets scared before he glances over his shoulder at the others then turns back and gives her a thumbs up. She's not sure if he knows what he's approving of but at least she knows he's not going to rat them out the others.

(She kinda wishes he would though so that they can join the group but she sees the look in Sam's eyes and decides that it's cool to be just the two of them for a while longer.)

As the summer draws to an end, though, she starts to let her nerves get the best of her. It wasn't hard to cover up their relationship at the end of the school year because, honestly, a lot of heat and attention was on Finn and Rachel. First because they screwed them over at Nationals and second because they were back together and Quinn started muttering about timelines and Mr. Hummel's garage and real estate licenses so she kinda tuned her not-really-anymore friend out and focused on how happy she was that Rachel was happy. And Kurt was happy. And she was getting there.

But being there and staying there are two different things and she's afraid that once September rolls around she won't be happy anymore because Sam won't want to go public still and she won't be a dirty little secret.

Hell to the no.

The day she goes to his hotel to tell him that they're either going to be together or they're not, he kisses her and tells her his parents got jobs and they got an apartment on her side of town.

Well, that apparently solves that problem.

They go on a double date with Finn and Rachel and it's pretty cool. They guys are finally getting along well and she and Rachel haven't had any real issues in a long time.

The only trouble comes when Quinn walks in the door with her older sister and get the booth right across from them at Breadstix. They all kind of turn their heads away from her direction but it takes less than five minutes for her to spot them. (Well, Finn's really easy to spot, to be honest, and Quinn has some kind of weird Rachel-dar that makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up when they're within a few feet of one another.)

There's no real scene and she's grateful but she sees the way Quinn's eyes keep catching Sam and she wonders just how long it's going to take her former friend to steal away the only guy who's ever really paid attention to her, dated her, wanted to be with her for who she was.

She waves slightly when the Fabray sisters leave and doesn't talk much for the rest of the date.

(She tells Rachel in the restroom what her problem is and Rachel tells her she understand and that boys can be 'completely immature and unknowledgeable most of the time' but that they have two of the best boys in the school and, regardless of what happened last spring, they guys are with who they want to be with. She's not sure she agrees but nods anyway because mercy help her if she gets Rachel going on some kind of tangent.)

They go their separate ways in the parking lot – Finn and Rachel to her Dad-less house – and her and Sam to the park. He holds her hand and smiles and she figures she might as well get it over with.

She tells him it's not really cool if he wants to get back with Quinn but she'll deal with it if she has to and that she's going to be pretty damn mad at him for a while but maybe eventually they can be friends again.

"You're crazy. You know that, right?" he asks as he leans in and gives her one helluva kiss.

"Yeah. But you like me anyway," she responds with a small grin.

"Like. Love. Whichever," he says nonchalantly.

She thinks she wouldn't like him as much if he actually had game.


End file.
